


Popsicles

by castronomicalmistakes



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Canon compliant kinda?, Dorks, Gay!JohnSheppard, Getting Together, M/M, Mutual Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:13:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,243
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26363986
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castronomicalmistakes/pseuds/castronomicalmistakes
Summary: A fic of small moments between John & Rodney that explores the development of their relationship through the show, with the caveat that John is gay, and Rodney knows it.  Starts in season 2, ends post-canon.
Relationships: Rodney McKay/John Sheppard
Comments: 8
Kudos: 54





	Popsicles

**Author's Note:**

> Mentions of Rodney/Katie Brown & Rodney/Jennifer Keller.
> 
> No beta- excuse mistakes!

It was their second year in Atlantis when Rodney learned the truth about John Sheppard. The night after Elizabeth and Sheppard had both been inhabited by aliens, John and Rodney sat on the pier with a six pack of beer.

"Still can't believe you kissed Elizabeth," Rodney said. 

"It wasn't me," John said for the fourth time.

"I know, I know, aliens made you do it. But you can't tell me Elizabeth doesn't have nice lips and that you didn't enjoy it."

"Elizabeth does have nice lips," John agreed.

"And you enjoyed it," Rodney said again.

John shrugged. “Sure.” 

"Oh come on, Sheppard, you-"

"Leave it alone Mckay," Sheppard said with finality. He sipped his beer and laid down, looking up at the sky. 

But Rodney wasn't easily deterred when something caught his interest, and this was potentially new and interesting information. Rodney laid on his side and folded his arm under his head. "John, either you enjoyed kissing Elizabeth or you didn't."

"I'm not going to lie to you Rodney, so please drop it."

Rodney stared at Sheppard, who was studiously ignoring Rodney by looking up at the sky, his arms folded, exuding calm Rodney knew was manufactured. 

"Oh my God," Rodney said as the realization dawned on him. "You're gay."

Sheppard was quiet for a moment, staring up at the stars, avoiding Rodney's gaze. "Yeah," he said quietly. "You understand that you can't-"

"I won't betray your confidence, John," Rodney assured him quickly. "Despite my feelings on your military's reprehensible, neanderthal policies, I know how much Atlantis means to you and I wouldn't put you at risk of losing your position."

John turned his head to stare at Rodney. "That's... very thoughtful of you, McKay," John said. 

Rodney tapped his skull. "Genius, remember?"

John chuckled. 

"Besides, I wouldn't want somebody else as my team leader, " Rodney said. "Anyone stupider than you would drive me crazy, and that's most people."

"Thanks," John said a little sarcastically, but he took the compliment.

Rodney always made a great show of complaining about John's magnetic effect on the alien women they came across. John was sure it was all an act, but wondered if Rodney really was jealous, because Rodney _did_ like women. But he rarely complained when he and John were alone, and after a while John was beginning to think the whole "Kirk" bit was working a little too well; the male half of Atlantis thought he was sleeping with the female half. But, it meant no one questioned his sexuality, and Atlantis was still his to protect. 

* * *

It was their third year in Atlantis when John Sheppard learned something about himself. He was grinning, sitting in the mess watching Rodney fling ketchup all over the table by waving a french fry around emphatically while talking. 

“And that,” Rodney finished, “is the reason I am right, and Radek is an idiot.” 

Radek spluttered and muttered in Czech, glaring at Rodney. “You are a petty little man,” he said, and left the cafeteria in a huff.

Rodney sat looking pleased with himself. John liked the look on Rodney’s face when he’d won an argument (though he’d rather die than admit that to Rodney) and found himself smiling, too.

“Chess later?” John asked. He and Rodney played at least once a week when they weren’t actively averting the latest disaster.

“Yes. I owe you a sound beating,” Rodney declared, standing and picking up his tray.

John leaned back in his chair and threw a smirk up at McKay. “We both know I’ll be the one who gets to choose the movie tomorrow,” John said. That was the agreed upon prize for winning.

“We are _not_ watching Die Hard again if you win,” Rodney warned.

“ _When_ I win!” John corrected, and Rodney rolled his eyes before turning on his heel and heading back to his lab.

Ronon was the only one left at the table with John. The giant man was studying him with a weird look on his face.

“What?” John asked.

“You guys fucking?” Ronon asked.

John choked on his drink. “ _What?_ ” He glanced around quickly, but no one seemed to have heard Ronon.

“You,” Ronon said, “and McKay,” he nodded in the direction Rodney had gone. 

John cut Ronon off in a harsh whisper. “Rodney’s not gay!” 

Ronon raised his brow. “Not even a little?” 

“No!” John hissed. He was suddenly very aware of how long he’d watched McKay talking during dinner, studying the lines of his mouth, and how he’d let his eyes linger just a fraction too long when Rodney walked away. Ronon was the most alert and observant person John had ever known; it was what had kept him alive as a runner. He suddenly and sharply realized Ronon was half right, and John absorbed the idea that _he had a crush on Rodney_. Then, he cursed himself for being obtuse and careless. 

“You can’t just say shit like that,” John said sternly, running a hand through his hair.

“Earth people are weird,” Ronon told him in a straight voice for the hundredth time, and then stood up and left, leaving John with an uncomfortable weight in his gut. How had he missed all of this? 

That was the moment that John began studiously paying attention to his behavior, forcing himself not to stare at Rodney or flirt with him too overtly. He realized that their banter, the back and forth of McKay’s caustic comments and his own sarcastic replies _was_ a lot like flirting. A _lot_ too much like flirting. And he’d noticed himself subconsciously reaching for Rodney all the time, his hand halfway to Rodney’s shoulder or arm, and John started fighting to keep his hands to himself. He made a point to only grab Rodney when he was saving his life or preventing him from falling. 

* * *

It was after this that Rodney McKay learned something about himself. He didn’t understand why John suddenly seemed colder toward him. The other man had clearly been distancing himself from Rodney; there were no more pats on the back, John had stopped letting his hand rest on Rodney’s shoulder, and it felt like John was refraining from looking at him altogether. Rodney didn’t understand it and he didn’t like it one bit, but no matter how much he thought about it, he couldn't determine why or what to do about it. He’d tried to ignore the situation altogether, going about business as usual, but then John was kidnapped by Kolya. His fear for John’s life, his anger at John for being so withdrawn, and the maelstrom of harsh emotions Rodney felt while they watched the Wraith later called “Todd” feed on Sheppard brought something into sharp focus. His heart was in his throat and the worry he felt superseded almost all rational thought, his brain repeating the same phrase over and over, “ _I can’t lose John_.” 

The night Sheppard returned to Atlantis, Rodney knew he’d find him on their pier. He took a seat beside him. John turned his head and flashed Rodney a weary smile, the “ _I’m okay, buddy_ ,” smile, one Rodney hadn’t seen for far too long, and against all his better judgement, he wordlessly pulled Sheppard into a hug. John froze and Rodney was suddenly terrified that John would push him away and storm off, but then something shifted, like a dam within Sheppard breaking, and John melted into Rodney’s arms. They sat wrapped around each other for longer than either man would admit. 

When Rodney crawled into bed that night, he wished John were beside him, and that was the moment he knew that John was no longer just his best friend. Rodney realized he had, somewhere along the way, started to fall for John. He lay awake for hours, processing the idea that not only was he not totally straight but also that he also had a very foolish crush on his best friend. John had never expressed interest in Rodney, and Rodney would never do anything to jeopardize John’s friendship; he’d never had a friend like John, not once in his entire life. Ultimately, he decided the best course of action was to ignore it, and hope against hope that it would just go away. 

After the hug that night, John started touching him again, little pats and slaps here and there, and everything felt right between them again. 

* * *

It was their fourth year in Atlantis when John learned the truth about Rodney McKay. The scientist's breakup with Katie Brown was still a fresh wound and John was working hard to keep himself from looking or feeling too pleased. One late afternoon, Rodney had been moping, utterly useless in his lab, snapping at his scientists with such vehemence that Zelenka had found John and begged him to remove Rodney from the lab for the day. John had shown up at Rodney's desk with their RC cars, after having replaced Rodney’s experimental batteries with almost dead regular ones. The cars were now whizzing down the hall, John’s rocketing over the finish line a good ten seconds before Rodney’s.

"Ha!" John yelled triumphantly, "That's two for me."

"One!" Rodney insisted. "You only won the first time because you sabotaged my car."

John shrugged with an innocent expression. "All's fair in love and war, McKay." He cringed as he watched Rodney's face fall. This was supposed to be helping him _forget_ about his love life. 

"Yes, well," Rodney said sourly, "I'll keep that in mind the next time I modify my vehicle. You'll be sorry you ever suggested it."

They reset the cars and started again. John was squarely in the lead, his car halfway down the hallway, when Rodney suddenly said, "You know, one of your new Marines made a pass at me the other day."

John jerked his head and hands toward Rodney in shock, and his car smashed into the wall, spinning off wildly. "What?"

"Ha! That's one for me," Rodney said with a wicked grin, stopping his car just past the finish line. "Now we're tied."

"Who?" John asked stupidly. He was staring at Rodney, his mouth open with surprise, his brow furrowed as he mentally went through the list of new arrivals he'd memorized.

"I'm not outing him," Rodney informed him snidely. 

John suddenly couldn't breathe. He'd assumed it was a woman, and while processing the information he greatly respected that Rodney wouldn't give up a male soldier. 

"But, maybe I'll take him up on it," Rodney added casually. 

John gripped the controller very tightly in one hand, a little surprised it wasn’t snapping in half, and crossed his arms to stop himself from doing something stupid, like shaking McKay by the shoulders or physically knocking some sense back into the man. 

"You don't like men," he reminded Rodney.

Rodney's cheeks grew slightly pink and he tilted his head up. "How do I know? I've never tried one."

"People aren't popsicles, McKay!" John was reeling, his brain shouting over and over, _Rodney might be bisexual._ "And you can't _experiment_ with my Marines," he added with a scowl. 

"First," Rodney said, pointing his finger in the air, "You have no say in my sex life."

John tried to protest but Rodney pointed the finger in John's face. "Second, even if this was about protecting your Marines from Don't Ask Don't Tell, they're currently discussing repealing that asinine law, anyway."

That distracted John. "They are?" he asked.

"Don't you read the news?" 

"Yeah," John lied. "Occasionally."

"Oh for God's sake, Sheppard," Rodney said, rolling his eyes. He walked over to John’s crashed RC car and picked it up, examining the underbelly for a moment. “You’ll have to repair this before we can race again.” 

John stalked over to him. Rodney’s newly discovered sexual curiosity was clouding his judgement, and he couldn’t stop himself from saying, “Promise me you’ll leave the Marine alone, McKay,” while looming into Rodney’s space. 

Rodney yelped in surprise at Sheppard’s sudden proximity, fumbling and dropping the car. 

John snatched it out of the air without looking at it and held it completely still, staring at Rodney. “No. Marines,” he ground out. 

Rodney looked for a second like he wanted to continue arguing, but he absorbed the look on Sheppard’s face and stopped. “Okay, calm down. I won’t fraternize with your little soldiers.” 

John’s relief was palpable, though he did his best to school his face as he stepped back and looked at the undercarriage car. The damage from the crash was clear. “Dammit,” he muttered petulantly. He was too distracted to see the confused, calculating look on Rodney’s face.

* * *

Soon after their fifth year in Atlantis, John and Rodney learned something about each other. They’d returned to Earth, saved the day, and several months later flown back to the Pegasus Galaxy. They’d gained some new personnel and left some behind. Jennifer was one of the expedition’s members who’d chosen to stay, ending her relationship with Rodney, and he’d moped for a couple of months before deciding it was for the best, as he was now free to focus purely on science. 

After one particularly difficult day attempting negotiations with a planet across the galaxy, John had grabbed Rodney and headed out on the pier with a six pack.

“Tough day,” he said, taking a seat. 

Rodney flopped down beside him and gestured for a beer. John popped the top before handing one to him. 

“Understatement of the year,” Rodney said. "I think I'd rather have been running from people who want to kill us." He sipped his drink and grimaced. “Can’t you pick a good beer, just once?” 

“It’s the king of beers, McKay,” John said with a dumb grin, knowing it would annoy Rodney. “The _king_.” 

Rodney made a discontented sound but drank it anyway. He was in a sour mood, and not just from the failed negotiations. One of the planet's natives had spent the entire day flirting with Sheppard, and thinking about it was making Rodney maudlin. His crush on John had surfaced with a vengeance since they'd returned to Pegasus, and he’d spent the entire day pissy and annoyed. He groaned. “I’m destined to die alone, aren’t I?” Rodney suddenly griped.

John let out a surprised laugh at the abrupt change of topic. “Statistically, we’re both due a horrible death at the hands of the Wraith. So we’ll likely die together,” he replied with forced cheeriness. Rodney didn’t laugh. John bumped shoulders with him. "C'mon, Rodney. You still have me," John said. Rodney's eyes met his curiously, his head tilted ever so slightly. "And Ronon and Teyla," John added belatedly, cursing himself inwardly. It was the kind of moment that made a person want to smack their own head into a wall, but there were no walls on the pier, so John clenched his fist against his leg instead.

Rodney's eyes narrowed and he had that look John _knew_ meant he was putting two and two together. It only lasted for a split second, so fast it almost wasn’t there at all, but John had seen it. Had he seriously just given himself away? He was terrified that Rodney would react poorly to the idea that John had feelings for him, but a tiny, secret part of him was aching to be relieved of the burden and stupidly hoping Rodney somehow returned his affections.

Rodney looked out over the ocean. He still hadn't forgotten the time he'd mentioned the male Marine and Sheppard's reaction to it. There had been other instances too, things that made him wonder about the motives behind some of John's behaviors, including Sheppard's cool-as-a-cucumber routine toward Keller. He decided to test the waters. "There's a new geologist I might ask out on a date." 

John eyed him curiously. "Oh yeah?" John felt a stone settle in his stomach, but he ignored it. He wanted Rodney to be happy, no matter how hard it was to watch the object of his stupid affections be with someone else. "What's her name?"

"Tim," Rodney said. 

John's eyes almost bugged out of his skull before he composed himself. "You were really serious that day?" 

"The day you jealously forbid me from screwing a Marine?" 

"I wasn't jealous!" 

"I didn't quite realize it at the time," Rodney continued stubbornly, ignoring John's protestations, "But I think I've compiled sufficient evidence to call it plainly. You were jealous." 

John swallowed thickly. If the cat was out of the bag, he'd own up to it. Rodney was too smart to be lied to. "I might have been… a little." 

Rodney turned and looked at him critically. "Of me, or the Marine?" 

Every muscle in John's body screamed, " _flee!_ " and the desire to run was so strong he wasn't sure he could sit still much longer. He clamped his hands down on the edge of the pier. "C'mon, Rodney," he said a little weakly. "You're my best friend and I don't want to…" he trailed off. Screw this up. Scare you away. Lose this. Lose you. But he couldn't finish the sentence. Instead he said quietly, "I was jealous of the Marine." 

"Thank _God_ ," Rodney said in a huff. He reached for John, who snatched Rodney’s forearms in his hands and paused to make sure he’d heard Rodney correctly.

“Really?” he asked, staring with wonder into Rodney's blue eyes.

“Yes, John,” Rodney said with a soft smile. And Sheppard’s heart took to the skies.

John reached for Rodney then, too, and they came together easily, their lips meeting softly. John wrapped his arms around Rodney's shoulders, and Rodney brought his hand up to gently cup John's jawline below his ear. They explored each other slowly and deliberately with the kiss.

After a heated moment, they came up for air and John let his forehead rest against Rodney's, much like Teyla's Athosian gesture. He was grinning from ear to ear. John felt more at home in this moment than ever before. 

"Does this make you my popsicle?" Rodney asked. 

John's head fell back as he let out a wild bark of laughter. It was a rare thing, and Rodney loved it. He wanted to make John laugh like that until he died. 

John gripped Rodney's arms. "Do you like the flavor?" he asked with a salacious grin. 

Rodney grabbed John's face and pulled him in again. "Yes," he declared before fitting John's lips against his own again. This kiss was needier, the two men grabbing at each other like they suddenly needed to touch each other more than breathing. 

"Can we have sex now, please?" Rodney gasped against John's mouth.

"Whatever you want," John keened. He half pulled Rodney into his lap before pausing. They looked at each other, rumpled and panting, a familiar electricity burning between them, only now it had been set loose and it was wild and crackling instead of simmering beneath the surface. 

"Let's get out of here," John said. He traced the edge of Rodney's mouth with his thumb. 

"My room," Rodney said. 

"Whatever you want, Rodney," John repeated and then kissed him again, his hands running down Rodney's muscled arms. 

"That might be my new favorite phrase," Rodney said. 

John smiled and stood up, holding out a hand and pulling Rodney to his feet. "Cool," he said with a grin.

Rodney let out a little laugh. "You're such a dork, Sheppard."

"Yeah. But you _like_ it," John pointed out. 

Rodney grinned back at John. "Yes. I do."

**Author's Note:**

> I really love these idiots.


End file.
